Not getting onto Musical Megawatt is interesting. It kind of forces me into a corner. I can either
A) Stay at magnet, do more big sibbing, more classes and hope to improve in the eyes of the people who make the choices.
B) Go home and recoup money and maybe take classes in a different city.
To stay at magnet, or even roll to PIT or UCB is still to stay at Magnet. New York City is small and I'd just be tangentially trying to get better. A lot of friends say, "It's all politics."
The problem with that is that it's meaningless. What can I assume from not getting into a Musical team?
14 people are better than me at Musical Improv. That's a fact because they got picked not me. It could be because of the team mind, could be because of politics, whatever. It's a fact in the eyes of Magnet. So, staying at Magnet trying to prove myself to people who already have me at a disadvantage is not going to work. Retaking all musical classes may not make me any better. Something is missing. I can't blame it all on the callback either. People were more familiar with me than others, so if I could get back that night, I'd give it another go, but it's not that.
The fact is, I'm in NYC for two reasons, Musical Improv and Voice Over. I've been unable to pull great jobs through VO, and I've been unable to pull real house teams on Magnet or PIT. If I go back home, I'm able to live rent free and help my parents out a bit. I also will be making money to put to classes at maybe UCB in LA, Annoyance in Chicago, other places. Maybe through them, I'll reach a new level. Have I peaked at Magnet, as far as musical improv goes, I don't know if they have much more to teach me. So, I didn't pick up everything. Need to round my education.
The fact is, I'm not going to fight this. Wander around showing everyone that I didn't want it as much as I did. I did want it. Plain and simple. You don't always get what you want, but to stay around and fight people's opinions of you is stupid. Give em a break, don't walk around like this desperate little puppy praying for table scraps. Or worse, don't go around being a bad sport.
I'm an honest guy. I may have been overconfident. Maybe I am overconfident. Just gotta get over yourself and move forward. Luckily, I know very few if any people read this blog, so in essence this is a diary of my improvisational life. I hope in 10 years, I'll be one of the best at this. And this blog may show that this was a turning point in my life.
Right now, I'm hurt. I want to know why, but how can I expect anyone whom I consider a mentor or friend to be honest. I don't want the politics/whatever. I'll find my own way.
One of my good friends Giana texted me and kind of implied that I was running home with my tail between my legs.
I want to get better at musical improv and as of a month from now, I will have taken ALL classes in NYC on musical improv. Do I retake these classes? No ofcourse not. You don't do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. Humility is here. But, I'm too old to waste time wandering NYC aimlessly waiting for the next audition. I'll be back for the next audition maybe the one after that. All in due time.
Everyone has a different path. Mine just moved.
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